Really?

Welcome back to October Baseball. For those of you who did not know, this month is why people sacrifice six months, countless dollars, brain cells, tears and most of their liver function each year. This is the month that allows us to claim that going to get that last beer or heating up another batch of leftover Rosh Hashanah brisket is the reason that our team took the lead. (no seriously, I was standing by the microwave when Jason Aristides Baymirez hit his shot. All me. You’re welcome) Last night was also the start of Jon Lester’s year to be the guy who everyone calls the best post season pitcher on the planet. Last year was Beckett, 2004 was Schilling, and this year it’s Jon Lester who gets to be the Stopper. Beckett’s still here and still imposing fear in the souls of batters and shitty national anthem singers, but this is the time when the lefty gives a big middle finger to all of those who called him a number three starter and said we should trade him for some guy who is golfing right now. 

Seriously, does anyone have the balls to doubt Jon Lester anymore? What do you want this kid to do? (And as much as he is a full grown man, if Francona can call him a kid I can too.  He’s only 24.) Last night he strapped on his man balls and made us all forget that he wasn’t the first choice to start game 1. So what? Doubt Jon Lester and he will kick you square in the nuts, crap on your chest, and sleep with your wife and you’ll thank him after. Tough Shit.

I won’t go through all of the stuff he’s done, but I was at Lester’s debut in ’06. (I was drunk and had been sitting in the rain for 5 hours, but I was still there.) I was at the No-No and actually got to slap a couple of strangers in the head for mentioning what was up in the 7th. And I will say that in my years of watching the Sox I have only gotten as excited to watch Pedro (pre-Soul Glow) in 99-00 as I have been to watch Lester every time he takes the ball this season. I’m pretty sure there is a legit shot that he will leave zeros on the board even when he’s not on the mound. 

So to all you bleary eyed fans slogging your way through another cold, rainy, Sox-game-less day, I say get your sleep, because Friday night’s gonna be a long one with the Japanese wiggle on the mound for another 4 hour marathon. 

Be prepared, the drinking game for this one is to drink every time the announcers mention the size, scrappyness or other “intangibles” of Dusty Pete. And take a shot every time Matsuzaka gets to a three ball count. Never mind you’d be dead by the third. 

Done