So for the last week, I’ve been away. Some of you may noticed, others may not have (only three people read this so there must be a majority either way). But while I was away, I took the time to stop and smell the roses and learn some new things (in between sessions of beating up my liver). Here is what I remember:
10. Chicago is a great city, but it is nothing like Boston. Sure, the people are more laid back than New York, but the city looks different, is more segregated and allows drink specials in bars. The most important difference is that while people are similarly laid back, there are fewer assholes per square mile (except on Montrose beach, where people just dont pay attention and walk right through your Cornhole game) and nobody uses the horn on their car. We should conquer them, rename the city “Bostonisbetterthanyouville” and then get wasted with the locals on some of those truly amazing drink specials.
9. I hate the Mets. No, not as much as the Yankees, but the fact that they cant win one of three against them makes them about as useful as the entire city of Newark, NJ.
8. Back in the day it used to be that you could travel to buy products that you couldn’t get at home or foods that weren’t shipped to where you live. Today, you can get anything you want over the internet, and that part of the experience has been taken out of travel to a point. The one thing that you can travel for is beer. In Chicago I drank Goose Island (Honker’s Ale and 312), New Belgium (Fat Tire) and Murphy’s Bleachers ales which I cannot get at home. This added to the experience of being away greatly as it was not just the visual experience which was different, but the taste of the city as well.
7. Every day I am away I miss NESN more. Nuff ‘Ced.
6. From now on Every time I travel for more than a weekend I am going to find a Red Sox bar in whatever city I am in. They are everwhere and walking in to them makes you feel like you are at home. Plus, you can watch the game on NESN, on every TV. Big ups to the Tripoli Tap. I didn’t get to make it there this trip but you’ve made me feel at home in the past.
5. Play Cornhole. It has nothing to do with butt sex, as it may seem, but is a great alternative to sitting while you drink and doesn’t require you to dig out a horshoe pit or put up a dart board.
4. Everywhere you go you will see Red Sox fans, and they will always see you and give you the acknowledgement head nod. It’s a brotherhood.
3. We seem to have forgotten what it was like for us in Red Sox Nation before 2004, when winning became expected and the horrible collapse unthinkable. I was on my way to the airport during the U.S. – Brazil Soccer game on Sunday with my buddy Jimmy Junk (also known as the cheapest man ever), and we heard on the radio that we (that would be the Amurrrricns) were winning two-nil in the 27th (yup, 27th) minute. Junk actually started to celebrate, thinking it was all over and that the rest of the world was going to have another reason to hate us (well F@#$ you too). But I knew different, as that little part of me that wasn’t killed by the Greatest Comeback In Sports History spoke up and told me to stop counting chickens. Sure enough I was right. We should be pissed that we didn’t win it all, not happy that we made it that far. If the U.S. doesn’t win the World Cup next summer I’ll be dissapointed.
2. Eck is getting better at teaching people about the art of pitching every day, even as his vocabulary expands. Last night, as He Who Shall Not Be Doubted (so nasty) was shutting down the O’s, Eck had a sequence where he taught us about establishing the inside, even with a ball, and then making Aubrey Huff look like my sister at the plate by throwing outside. I don”t know if I’m the only one but I wouldn’t mind seeing a three man booth once the Rem Dawg gets back.
1. The Red Sox are really really good and everyone else is jealous.
Go Sox.
Done.
I can’t stand this god damn Chicago apologist movement. Being the “Boston of the midwest” -which makes me cringe to just type it- is like being the most normal Jackson. Too Soon? Well go eff yourself. Every time someone tells me that is the reason they like Chicago I want them to be sexually assaulted by a labradoodle with a 14 inch tail. The accent is stupid, the Cubs are for pussies and the coolest thing about Chicago is that I, someone from Boston, hates it. I hope everyone in Chicago gets in a knife fight and loses.
I tried to play cornhole last night, but she woke up before I got my bags out.
they’re not better! good teams don’t blow 9 run leads late in the game (O’s). Stoopid mofo’s!
Hey DME, can you give me some evidence for this “not better” theory of yours? You sack of recessive genes.
evidence? 11 is greater than 10. if we play a game, and I beat you, then I’m better.
also, genes aren’t recessive. I’m assuming you meant a recessive trait in my genes? next time try responding without the angst. done.
So what you are saying is that because the Nationals beat the Sox once they are better than them too? Or do the other 77 games played by the Sox this season count and the fact that the Sox are 13 games up on the O’s in the standings actually mean that they are better. And does the fact that the Red Sox won last night mean that they are better now? Your logic of basing judgement of a baseball team on one game out of 162 played in a season, or even the 78 played to this point, is flawed, and you need to admit this, and correct it before you attempt to make a point.
Also, if you look at my comment I was quoting Henry Rollins, who is also smarter than you. No angst, just logic, shithead.
I agree with Done. You are clearly somewhere on the autism spectrum or have never looked at the standings. If we play a game an you beat me once after losing to me the previous 7 times we played then your win is a fluke. I hope you have an alergic reaction to something you usually enjoy today.