For Serious. Now you can finally fulfill that dream of having your back yard look just like the lawn at Fenway. Major League Baseball announced today that the huge gap in their marketing campaigns has been filled and they now have an official lawn care partner (to go along with their official erectile dysfunction partner, internet porn partner, and herpes medication partner; not that I use any of those). Scotts will be distributing bags of the stuff actually used by the groundskeepers at Fenway, Wrigley and a few other ballparks (most notably not that shithole 250 miles south of here). 
It may not have the, um, other properties of Carl Spackler’s blend, but if I can use it to put those cool designs in my backyard, then I think it’ll be worth it (of course, now I need a back yard).
It’s also a better deal than dropping 27 bucks on the new batting practice caps.
Go Sox.
28 Days.
Done.
Is there some way that you guys can become the official useless offseason bullshit partner of the Boston Red Sox