Go Sox.

Done.

It is only 5 days until the four best words of any winter: Pitchers and Catchers Report. The Boston Red Sox are headed into the spring in as strong a position as they have been since 2007 and look to be the favorites on paper. Guys are already reporting to Ft. Myers and the Truck is leaving today, but I can’t say that I’m 100% comfortable with the way the Sox are heading into the season.

Most years we could say the same thing, but this season has a question mark that hasn’t been there for quite a while, the spectre of large scale injury worries. Last season, the Sox won 89 games with a club that was led by J.D. Drew. Led and Drew are two words that should never go together, but that was because of the injuries that took out half of the lineup. This year, everybody is supposed to be healthy, and that may be the case, but with four of the top five guys in the lineup coming off off of injuries (Ells, Pedey, Youk, Gonzo) and the entire  infield less than 100%, I am tempering my expectations. (Except for the fact that I get a boner every time I try to figure out this year’s Sox lineup.)

Who the hell cares though. It’s Truck Day, and right now, all is right with the world.

Go Sox.

5 Days.

Done.

With Crawford and Gonzalez in the mix, this should be a common sight around here soon.

Theo Epstein has given me a reason to write again.

Actually, he has given me two of them.

With today’s announcement that the Red Sox signed Carl Crawford, and last week’s trade for my long time man-crush, Adrian Gonzalez, the Sox are back. They have shifted the balance of power, stolen the thunder from a 10-2 Patriots team (by the way Rex Ryan, did you know that fist can be a verb?) and banished the championship contending Celtics and Bruins to the second page of the sports section. Once again this is a baseball town and the general malaise that had settled in at the end of last season is officially so gone that I have completely forgotten that anything between Papelbon entering in the ninth inning of game three of the ALDS in 2009 and when I woke up to the joyous news Saturday morning.

Now I know what all of you Christians have been saying about Christmas morning, but this was better.

Gone are the injuries, the worries, and watching Eric Patterson and Danny Nava playing in big games for the Sox. Gone is the f@#$%ing bridge year, and gone is the small market mindset. The Red Sox have flexed their muscles and now the rest of the league has to be afraid.

The best part of today was that I gave my students a pop quiz so that I could read all of the coverage, watch the video of Cashman shaking his head and imagining the price tag on Cliff Lee, who the Yankees absolutely must get, and above all, play with the lineup. Just picturing a lineup with a healthy Youk and Pedey, Ellsbury (I still think he’s the king of the Pink Hats) and Crawford terrorizing the basepaths, and Gonzalez chipping paint off the monster on a daily basis is making me smile and count the days to Pitchers and Catchers (66). After many hours of work (while I was supposed to be educating children), I have come to the following lineup:

Ellsbury (LF),

Pedroia (2B),

Crawford (LF),

Gonzo the Great (1B),

The Beard (3B),

Papi (DH),

Drew (only one more year, RF),

‘Tek/Salty (C),

Scoots (SS).

This way there are three on base guys in front of Gonzo and Youk, allowing them to drive guys in, and it keeps a semblance of the right-left pattern that Tito likes to keep in order to prevent other teams from using a specialist on the heart of the order. It is worth mentioning that both Gonzo and Craw (I’m auditioning nicknames, feel free to contribute) hit lefties very well and that Gonzo absolutely crushes everything, including the souls of people named Steinbrenner. There is also potential for Salty to continue to develop and move up in front of Drew in the order, furthering Tito’s right-left desires (both of the catchers are switch hitters).

Oh, and have I mentioned that the three and four pitchers in our rotation are as good, if not better than most other team’s one and two? Yeah, Beckett is looking like he is going to come out pissed off at all the people who said that he shouldn’t have gotten the extension last year and Lackey will be the same way at us (and I say us, because I am one of these people) and come out firing.

The bullpen is the only question left (other than who bats where in the lineup and how many games we win the east by), headed by the nutcase who is in his final year with the Sox and must show up big for the big contract that he wants. Bard is solid and getting better (look at what he did to lefties last season, and that’s as a righthander), and the rest of the pieces…. well…… I trust in Theo.

He’s gotten us this far.

66 Days.

Go Sox.

Done.

The look on A-Rods face almost makes up for how bad Beckett and Drew sucked this year.

Thank You, Texas.

Wow, I never thought I’d appreciate anything from Texas as much as I do the Rangers this morning.

In case you missed it, the Rangers finally put down the Yankees (like the ugly dog at the shelter who never gets adopted. (Note: I do not mean that the senseless killing of these animals is a good thing, like the Yankees losing, but just that they did it in a similar undeniable fashion.)) last night by finishing them off in game six of the ALCS. Along with being the first time the Rangers have punched a ticket to the World Series in their 49 year history (originally as the second team to bear the name Washington Senators), it frees us from one more week or, god forbid, an entire winter of endless Yankee talk. No A-Douche on Letterman, no talk of Joe Girardi changing his number again (he had 27 last season and after winning the title changed to 28, kind of like Rick Fox wearing number 17 after going to the Lakers because he had been so disappointed to never win Banner 17 for the C’s), no Sports Illustrated special edition commercials about the Yankees. It comes as a relief to us all.

To the Sox, and their fans, this means that we can finally focus on the offseason and plans for 2011. While the Globe and Herald have already run their lists of potential free agent targets and decisions that need to be made by the Sox (mention must be made of the terrific prognostication and reporting done by Gordon Edes in his ESPNBoston.com blog), the fans, such as myself, have been focused on supporting the Twins and Rangers in their hopes to prevent another title by those pinstriped assholes to the south.

In the coming weeks we will have plenty of time to preview what figures to (and had f#$%ing better) be a very busy Hot Stove season for Theo and Co, but for today let’s just enjoy all of the video of the Yanks walking off the field looking dejected and miserable and look forward to what is undoubtedly going to be an amazing matchup in game one of the World Series, Lee at Halladay or Lincecum.

Ridiculous.

Thanks Rangers. Go Sox.

Done.

In an attempt to make myself forget about the pain in the ass that is the slow death of the Red Sox, I have turned to another source of daily entertainment, the NFL. The problem that I have always had with the NFL is that there isn’t enough daily action. So, in the midst of the too-little-too-late beatdown that the Sox were throwing at the Rays last night, SMC and I participated in my first ever fantasy football draft. I’ll say this, it was boring. With a 16 team league and all of the tools that the Mothership (we decided to do it through ESPN) there wasn’t much excitement to it. Either take the best guy available or the best of whatever you need, but the research, analysis, and most of the decision making was already done for me.

As it turns out, the later rounds get kinda thin (though it did allow me to pick up both the Law Firm, BenJarvus Green-Ellis, and LeGarret Blount, who I can depend on to get some points for punching people) but over all my asst. GM (MVPork) and I are pretty happy with the way things turned out. Maybe this will keep my mind off the fact that it is still about five months until baseball gets exciting again (the Hot Stove is too intermittent).

Today is an off day, so enjoy tonight (good yontif to those members of the tribe out there) and I’m taking the Saints (-5) over the Vikings to start the season tonight.

Go Sox.

Done.

Now We Know How Mets Fans Feel In September.

Just about three weeks ago, I left the country for an amazing vacation in Europe. We drank, we danced and we had a blast. Meanwhile, on the other side of the Atlantic, it seems everything had gone to shit. The 2010 Red Sox are done like dinner. They had a shot to be really, really good, but injuries, ineffectiveness and all manner of crappy decision making led them to the point they are at now: playing out the string with a collection of old guys, cast offs and minor leaguers.

Sure, the pitching is still pretty good. Buchholz deserves some nods for Cy Young, and Jon Lester is still the man, but Beckett and Lackey are underperforming like it was super cool, and we are learning that no matter how good your pitching is, you still need to defend and score some freaking runs to win games.

Ever since I got back, I have been searching for answers as to how it got this bad. Had Theo tempted fate a little to much by calling this season a “Bridge Year” in the spring and then throwing the team’s highest payroll ever out there? Did we all need a fall free of drama, sleepless nights and heavy drinking? Did the fans (I’m looking at you, Benny Bagels) make this happen by not watching? Did the baseball gods finally decide that injuries had stayed too far away from the Sox?

No matter who it is that we blame (I’m thinking the injuries may have something to do with it though) this season was a missed opportunity in many many ways. The Sox were 36-20 through May and June, dominating everyone (it helped that they were 13-5 against the senior circuit) and seemingly getting ready to put a hurting on the Yanks and Rays. Then the bug hit; Beckett was already on the DL, Victor and Pedey went down within a few days and then, just after the break, when things were looking like they might get back to normal, Youk somehow got an injury that f#$%ing nobody ever gets, and was shut down for the season. (Don’t even mention Ellsbury. He is dead to me and will be so until he returns and steals home again) There were just too many injuries and the outfield of McDonald, Hall and Drew hasn’t exactly been what we planned on.

Don't we all need more Beard in our lives?

The nail in the coffin has really been (amazingly) the goddamn Baltimore Orioles. The Orioles were mathematically eliminated about three hours after pitchers and catchers reported, but they have beaten the Sox to a tune of 7-6 this season. No, you aren’t reading that wrong, the Sox have lost seven of the thirteen games they have played against the Baltimore “33 Games Out” Orioles. They are 11-4 against the Blue Jays, who are at least good enough to be troublemakers this month, but they can’t freaking beat a team that I’m pretty sure dropped two of three to the Japanese Little Leaguers. Last night’s game just proved it to me, this season is over.

With the top four guys in the lineup all missing significant (Read: devastating) time this season, what did we really expect?

Go Sox.

Done.

All Natural.

Well, Roger… don’t you feel stupid. You’ve proven once again the old adage, it’s not the deed that does you in, it’s the lie you tell about it.

I remember thinking, while his boob of a lawyer, Rusty Overbill, was advising him to deny, deny, deny, that someone should get in this guy’s ear and tell them to make up a much better story about his trainer boosting his wife with B12 shots… and further more… that this dude is gonna fry someday soon.

Well, sports fans, that day of fryalation is at hand. The Wall Street Journal has reported Clemens’ indictment on six counts of perjury. It’s gonna get realllllly expensive from here on out for Mr. Clemens. Just think, every single pro athlete that pointed their finger at congress, telling them, “let me be clear,” or “make no mistake…” is not either in jail, in a foreign country, sans Olympic metals, or paying ridiculously high legal bills.

Guys in white suits always get themselves covered in sh!t.

Even the great chauvinist, Rick Pitino, who tactfully forced himself on some cocktail waitress in a dark bathroom somewhere, and then paid her to get an abortion (condoms are sooo 1990′s), said, “If you do something bad and lie about it, it becomes a part of your future. If you do something bad and tell the truth, it becomes a part of your past.”

SMC

Go Sox.

Done.